I started the day with the tapping for weight loss bonus meditation. I am headed to bed and will listen to at least one tapping sequence or meditation before going to sleep. Today was a little challenging for me. I homechool my sons but I am not in synch with our new school year schedule. I am also off this week from teaching my fitness classes soI am a slug. Last night I only got about 5 hours of sleep so I was extra snacky today, which is my pattern. As I get ready to go to bed, I feel frustrated and am coming to terms with just how much I need to address my emotions...they have always dictated how I eat and exercise. So...I have been saying that I HAVE to start logging my food again. I sit and log my food and realize that I have barely moved today but I have eaten quite a bit due to sleepiness. At the last minute I jump up and put on a workout. I really didn't want to but it was only 22 minutes so I went for it and am soooo glad that I did. Tomorrow is a new day. I have to choose to focus on self-love and self-care instead of frustration with what seems like ALLLL I have to do to "hope" to lose weight. But I am willing to reframe all of it...I am willing to release the desperate need to lose weight. I am willing to see journaling my food, exercise and tapping as total, luxurious self-care they are as essential as brushing my teeth and getting my yearly check ups, etc....This morning I thought to myself that I have more to gain and less to lose (except the weight, of course) by tapping and addressing my emotions. Everything else has yielded minimal results with mega frustration. At least when I tap....my spirit feels better. So, this is my day.
This morning I awoke and began tapping. As I write this it is over 12 hours later so I hope to remember what exactly happened but I just know that I had a major breakthrough. I explored my inner fear. Something I have known for a while is just how long I have felt fear in my life. I also explored my feelings of loneliness. I remember lying in bed at night as a girl feeling empty. I felt alone. Somehow as I tapped all of this welled up major emotion. It is an emotion that I know well. It feel painful, like acid and even my heart chakra painfully throbbed. I began to see how so much in my life, such as other people's drama or my issues with them, have been in place in part to keep fear up in my consciousness because I adopted fear as a way to protect myself as a child. I knew that if I stayed fearful, then I would stay aware so if anything sudden happened in my home that had abuse as well as alcoholism I would be ready. This way of being can...
Comments
Post a Comment