Okay...I feel like I have had a breakthrough or a start to one. First off I am feeling so happy to have made it to Week #7. I listened to the Week #7 webinar today and as i finished I teared up feeling accomplished. You know how some of us may feel that we start but never finish anything...that is me. It always takes FOR-EVER for me to finish anything. But I have been benefiting so much that it has been easy for me to stick and stay and for a couple of weeks to FIGHT to stay on the program. Well, the next thought that went through my mind was how I was done thinking so terribly about myself and I meant it. I don't exactly know how it lead to me sobbing and so I decided to tap while sobbing per Jessica and other tapping expert's recommendations. I cried for all the years that I kept going and have tried to make a good life for myself despite my mega negative self-talk. I patted myself on the back for pushing forward to be a good person anyway. Then I started thinking about the generational burdens that Cheryl and another lady, can't remember her name but she spoke during the tapping world summit...they tapped on releasing generational energetic gunk that we carry, and for me that is a lot. I also cried for women in general and the women in my lineage because sometimes the generational weight on us is and on them was so heavy...but the crying was deep and I could tell that I was releasing stuff that I have been trying to release for so long. At some point the crying cut off abruptly and then I tapped "Thank you" just to close myself with something positive. I am writing this now because I am not sure I can remember this later. I think there is more to come but that was all I could handle. I will say that despite how powerful that was, I do feel better...All I can say is that I am going to #KeepTapping. My life is transforming for the better for it!
I am adding a piece here that I didn't include in the tapping group. I feel like I am going to use tapping to release the generational pain of people of African descent who were caught up in the middle passage, slavery and the hard years that followed such as Jim Crow. I think I will tap to help heal the African consciousness at large because so many of the descendants of Africans are hurting today.
When I cried for the women, it was for African Women!!!! Be it in Africa or new Africans. I also cried because I felt such deep gratitude that the Ancestors and divinities have not let me fall...that that have carried me when I felt like quitting in my life...the Ancient Mothers would be riding me so hard if I was so bad and the Ancestors would not have labeled me as Crowning Jewel if I was so bad.
I think I have more to release... not sure if it is mine or from others but I had to stop because I felt too overwhelmed. I am sooooo grateful for this release and reset. I ain't gonna let nobody, not even myself, turn me round...
https://youtu.be/WPuBGcng6Tw
This morning I awoke and began tapping. As I write this it is over 12 hours later so I hope to remember what exactly happened but I just know that I had a major breakthrough. I explored my inner fear. Something I have known for a while is just how long I have felt fear in my life. I also explored my feelings of loneliness. I remember lying in bed at night as a girl feeling empty. I felt alone. Somehow as I tapped all of this welled up major emotion. It is an emotion that I know well. It feel painful, like acid and even my heart chakra painfully throbbed. I began to see how so much in my life, such as other people's drama or my issues with them, have been in place in part to keep fear up in my consciousness because I adopted fear as a way to protect myself as a child. I knew that if I stayed fearful, then I would stay aware so if anything sudden happened in my home that had abuse as well as alcoholism I would be ready. This way of being can...
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